Where They Do That At?

‘What A Shitty Time

Ultimate Slip’n’Slide’ cancelled after “explosive diarrhea” outbreak


If The Purge Was Real

In this edition of kids say the darndest things, my darling daughter informed me that if there wasn’t a purge she would save Grandpa Joe and purge me!

“ME?” I asked “Yes most definitely you.” She replied

I was honestly flabbergasted and confused because here I am, her mother giver of life maker of dinner, buyer of things and yet I’m not worthy to be saved on such a hypothetical Purge Day. So let’s see how this plays out. She’s going to save the old man huh.

Facts..He’s old, he’s slow, he has half a brain, probably doesn’t remember it is Purge Day. The chances of him getting confused and purging himself is HIGHLY LIKELY.

Me …THE FACTS …I’m young, also slow, fat but smart & resourceful. I can drive almost any vehicle. Be it a car, 18 wheeler, or motorcycle, I can get us away. Im fast exceptionally handy with a gun. These may seem like excellent reasons to keep me around on Purge Day. No the child has spoken. It was a good run. R.I.P. to me.